


Provocation

by Pigeon_theoneandonly



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angry Sex, F/M, Kinktober 2020, Mass Effect 3, Mass Effect 3: Citadel, better sex through the joy of awkward conversations, consensual dom/sub undertones, especially when your girlfriend's badassery turns you on as much as it scares you, fear mixed with exasperation is a hell of a drug, who says massive orgasms can't be tender as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26825623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeon_theoneandonly/pseuds/Pigeon_theoneandonly
Summary: Kaidan Alenko is fed up with Nathaly Shepard’s reckless behavior.  She refuses to see the problem.  The result? Unleashing a torrent of pent-up frustration in the best of ways.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 27
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

Kaidan didn’t say a word the whole cab ride home. He hadn’t said much at all since C-Sec surrounded the ship, aside from minimal answers to their questions. Having her ship hijacked by her clone, it turned out, generated quite a few of those.

And when they got to the apartment, he went straight upstairs and into the bathroom to clean up. She could hear the sink running as she removed her gear.

 _Fuck this_. They were not going another ten rounds of being angry and refusing to talk about it. Shepard followed him inside. “What the hell is it now, Kaidan?”

“I’m sorry?” His sarcasm came bright and hard, teetering on the edge of hysteria. He’d shed his armor as well, standing in his boxers and undershirt. “Every time I think I’ve touched bottom on your insanity, you find a damn shovel.”

“I knew what I was doing—”

“You always say that!” He slapped the tap off. “And then you go diving after a woman who tried to kill you, a few thousand feet of thin air between you and ground.”

She sat down on the counter beside him as he continued to avoid her gaze, staring down into the sink. Her legs swung against the cabinetry. Then she lowered her voice, calm as he was not, trying to talk him down from this psychological ledge. “That wasn’t her fault. Brooks manipulated her, probably from the implants on up. You saw her face when Brooks left her to die. She didn’t deserve oblivion for that.”

“I don’t care.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t care, Nathaly, I saw you disappear over the lip of that hatch and—”

Shepard cupped his cheek in her hand, lifting his face to hers. “Hey. I told you, I’ll never leave you behind again.”

It didn’t work. He jerked loose and resumed scrubbing, anger written in every jerky motion. “I hate it when you do things like this.”

She crossed and uncrossed her ankles, fingers fidgeting around the edge of the counter, and stole a peek at him. “You don’t completely hate it.”

His eyes flashed to her. Exasperated, and more frustrated than she thought. Kaidan had defused her so many times it felt almost funny to be in the opposite role. Her mouth turned up at one corner. “But if it’ll make you feel better to lecture me—” 

That little smirk did it. Something snapped inside him, beyond any of her predictions. Kaidan grabbed her roughly by the waist, still-damp hands pulling her tight to his body, her legs forced to straddle his hips. Her face barely a centimeter from his and his heated glare pinning her in place. 

“You’re right,” he said, in a low and nearly resentful tone, every word heated. “I don’t completely hate it. But I wish I did. Because if you didn’t have that single percentage that falls in love with your reckless stupidity, maybe you’d stop scaring me to death on a lark.” 

Her breath caught. She’d never seen him like this. It ought to unnerve her, but the feeling spreading slowly through her had nothing uncanny about it. Her eyes searched him. The dare formed on her tongue without any deliberation whatsoever. “And maybe if you let some of that tension out every once in a while, you wouldn’t get so worked up over what I do.”

She held his gaze another beat. “Or maybe you like getting worked up, too.”

He let out a growl and kissed her hard. It caught her completely off-guard; she hadn’t expected him to rise to the bait. He was a lot angrier than she thought. And dealing with a lot more residual fear and adrenaline and whatever else had gotten into him between the end of that fight and this moment in the bathroom. Kaidan clearly didn’t know how to deal with any of it. His mouth fought with hers—she could barely keep up—the whole of him nearly shaking with pent-up fury. At the same time, she felt him hard against her inner thigh.

This shouldn’t be something she liked. It went beyond simply rough and careless, like he was trying to provoke her, to get even with how badly she’d scared him. Shepard wondered how often he’d felt like this and buried it, so that it poured free in such a torrent now. The only surety was her body plainly did not care about propriety; her skin flushed hot, the dampening of her crotch an affirmative answer to his erection.

Her legs wrapped his waist and pulled him closer still, settling him against her vulva in a silent need to feel him through the thin cotton of their underwear. He groaned into her mouth. Her lips moved to his neck, and she nipped his taut skin, lightly—

His hand tightened in the hair against her scalp, and yanked. She let out a yelp. 

“No,” he said, firmly. “You want a lecture, I’ll give you a goddamn lecture, but if you want to talk back you can do it by yourself.”

Shepard blinked. He waited. Because he was still Kaidan, and Kaidan wouldn’t want to hurt her, in any way. But it was obvious how badly he wanted this. And at that moment, she couldn’t recall anything she’d ever wanted more herself. 

Her legs tightened. Too firmly to mistake her insistence for an accident.

That was all the hint he needed. He lifted her off the counter—and god, it had been months since Apollo’s, but she was still drunk on the fact that he _could_ lift her, the whole muscled 194 centimeters of her, hefty Cerberus implants and all—and all but slammed her into the opposite wall, so fast her head spun. One hand kept firm about her waist, while the other tugged at her panties.

She put her feet on the floor to let them slide down. His fingers moved through her folds, with a grunt of satisfaction at her slickness. Another yelp as one plunged into her without any preamble, trailing off into a moan. His thumb pressed at her clit.

It would be a mistake to call it a caress. It was mechanical, executing the proper inputs to her body so he could take her the way he wanted, nothing more. The prim voice at the back of her head continued to insist she _should not like this_. But it was drowned out by the rising fire in her blood and the coiling tightness in her groin begging for more. 

Her fingers hooked around the waistband of his boxers of their own volition. They fell down his legs. Her hand reached for him, grazing the velvety skin of his cock.

Kaidan slapped it away, pinning her wrist to the wall, as his other hand continued its work. Her input was not desired. His stance widened, forcing her legs open further than she had volunteered. Cold air brushed her aching hot lips and sent a profound shiver through her body. An alarm went off in her head. This was really happening, whether she liked it or not. He did not, in fact, care whether she liked it.

She knew all she had to do was say the word and he’d stop. And even without her ironclad trust in Kaidan’s intentions, she could overpower him if she had to. But Shepard did neither of those things. Instead, she closed her eyes and sagged into the wall. Eager resignation.

His hand vanished, replaced by the soft head of his penis. She’d always marveled at that, how dicks could be unyielding as a steel pole, while the skin remained so soft and delicate, and the head came with its own padding. Like they were designed to ram, complete with a cushioned end. 

It moved along her slit. Bathing in her wetness. Preparing. A whine escaped her throat.

“You are way too into this,” he said, into her ear, and then shoved against her hole. Hard.

The whine became a strangled scream as the head popped in and pushed her wide open, the whole length of him inside her in an eyeblink. Not one of pain, but of surprise. She’d been ready. More than. Just not prepared.

He grabbed her under her knee and lifted her leg, gaining another few centimeters of depth. Her head lolled on her shoulders. This had grown completely out of control, like flying too close to a black hole and getting caught in its rotation as it dragged the fabric of the universe around itself. The only option left was to ride it out.

His thrusts came hard, his breath ragged. Not jackhammering at her; she knew well enough he didn’t get much out of that, though ten minutes ago she’d have sworn he wouldn’t get much out of this, either. But fast enough she couldn’t catch her breath between them. The world shrunk around them. The only thing she cared about was the rising tide within her, energy and need contracting tighter and tighter until there was nothing left to do but shatter—

With a final groan, Kaidan pulsed inside her, a sudden spot of hotter fire deep in her core. Her eyes squeezed tight, every muscle straining in anticipation. She was so close.

Then he pulled out and let go of her. She slid halfway down the wall in the abrupt absence of support, her head still in her lust and too confused to object, as he stepped out of his boxers, grabbed a towel, and left the room, leaving her a panting mess on the floor. 

The tile was quite cold. She gazed around the bathroom, dazed and barely recognizing it, groping after her bearings. The faucet continued to run. What the hell just happened?

For sure they were going to have to talk about this. Shepard couldn’t imagine where to begin. Especially when the furthest thing from her mind was _never do that again_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended the previous chapter as a one-shot, but after posting it, began to feel it lacked closure. So here is a part two to bring the story to a proper (*ahem*) conclusion. Nathaly and Kaidan navigate this new territory in their relationship, and put their findings into practice.

On their last night aboard the Citadel, as they were finishing dinner, Shepard cleared her throat. “Can we talk about what happened in the bathroom?”

Kaidan dropped his fork, clattering against his plate and spilling peas right and left, made only worse by his clumsy attempts to correct it. “Yeah. I mean, I’m sorry.” His face was a portrait of mortification. “I acted like a dick. I was just so pissed off about that stunt you pulled, and so happy you were still alive…”

He trailed off. She licked her lips. “I didn’t say I minded.”

His brow furrowed, apology giving way to confusion. “You mean you…?”

“It’s all I’ve been able to think about,” she blurted out. “I’m embarrassed to admit just how much I’ve thought about it.”

Reading through backlogged reports. Out seeing friends. Whenever he brushed past her. During sex— the more usual kind of sex for them, a fantasy playing through her head. In the shower that very morning. He’d walked in seconds after she finished; it had taken all her panicked will to compose herself.

He tilted his head. Shepard was sure she looked like a deer in headlights. Carefully, he said, “Are you telling me you…liked it? I mean, after the, err, heat of the moment.” It had been abundantly plain to them both in the moment that she liked it very much.

She bit her lip. “Yes…?

Kaidan sagged in relief. “Oh, thank god.”

Her turn to be confused. “I don’t follow.”

“I’ve… been thinking about it, too.” His cheeks went pink. “Also maybe a little too much. I just assumed… Well, that you would have brought it up before now. You’re not one to hold your tongue.”

That said with a bit of a sly edge that made her heart speed up. “This was a first for me. And it came out of nowhere.”

“You told me once you hate being tied up.” He didn’t pry, and she hadn’t elaborated. It had been a one-off remark while watching a rather excessive love scene in a holovid.

“It wasn’t the same. That didn’t even feel like sex— more like theater.” That was a bad night. Her partner at the time had been very persistent about enacting that particular fantasy. And after it clearly wouldn’t work— about all of ten seconds after the first loops were around her wrists and the memory of being tied to that rusting chair on Aonia 1 slammed through her like a maglev— he prioritized having a tantrum over consoling her. 

But nearly seven years had passed, and now the recollection only annoyed her. She brushed it aside. “Anyway. I’ve been processing.”

“Same here.” He raised his eyebrows. “And?”

“I could do without being dropped on the floor.” 

Kaidan laughed. “I don’t know. Would you still be thinking about it if I hadn’t?”

“Let’s chalk it up as one of those things you don’t need to experience twice.” She rolled her eyes. “But more seriously…”

“Ok.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “Serious mode. I promise.”

This had seemed so much simpler this afternoon, practicing in her head. “Kink always bored me. It seemed like so much extra effort for the same result. But… Look, do you remember Illium? The before part, I mean.”

A fleeting smile, warm and slightly distant, crossed his face as the memory came. “The before part was… very nice.”

“You whispered in my ear, ‘Let me make you feel good.’” Even as she spoke, the ghost of his voice purred through her mind, breath tickling her earlobe, and Shepard shivered despite herself. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. And somehow you understood exactly what I needed right then.”

His fingers tightened around hers. “That was quite a bit softer than earlier this week.”

Serving under Cerberus, coming to terms with her resurrection, the horrible fight on Horizon… She’d been in so much pain, then. Pain needed comfort. Pain needed that softness. Now… 

She’d been silent a few moments too long. Kaidan peered at her. “Nathaly. Hey. You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I wish I hadn’t fought with you like that.” Referring to the after part. The one they’d talked about enough to move past it, but not at all since then.

Kaidan turned her hand over in his, making a study of her palm, as he sought the right words. “I stepped on a landmine. Should I blame the device, or the people who put it there?”

When her only response was to bite her lip and glance away, he persisted, “What’s important is I watched you dismantle it. I saw how hard and painful that was, and you did it anyway, and I’m so, so proud of you.”

A knot formed in her stomach. She mumbled, “Sometimes I think I’m made of nothing but landmines.”

“That’s not true.” He gave her hand a small tug, recapturing her attention, and when she looked into his face she saw no trace of irritation, or the weariness she expected. “We’ll keep stripping them off, one by one, and taking them apart, and someday all that’s left will be you.”

When he said it like that, she almost believed it. Almost. A wall crumbled.

“I have to make a hundred decisions every minute,” she burst out. “Every waking moment of my life, everyone is looking at me like I know what the hell I’m doing. Like I can actually win this war. I couldn’t shake that image if I tried, and we both know nothing good would come from trying.”

He chuckled then, but not unkindly. “You may be the last person in the galaxy to come to the realization that you’re stressed out beyond belief.”

“That’s what made the— the rawness of what we did after the _Normandy_ hijacking so good.” Stress craved physical outlets. Shepard’s stress in particular had always craved roughness. She never picked more fights than after a bad mission, and apparently primal sex fit the bill just as well. “For once, I didn’t have to decide anything, or take charge. All I had to do was let it happen. That loss of control was so freeing. It was wonderful.”

“See, that’s what I enjoyed.” He took a breath. “I can’t stop you doing anything. And I’m not saying I want to, and I know this is your job, and you’re right that I love that side of you. But I lay awake at night sometimes, full of dread of losing you again, and during those few minutes, when I had you in my hands… I felt like I could keep you here. Like I had some measure of control over it.”

Her other hand moved of its own volition, holding his in both of hers. There was no sincere apology she could make. He didn’t expect one. It was what it was, and he remained the only partner she’d ever had who could stomach it. “You’re what makes me come back.”

The look he gave her in return could have sustained her for months.

The conversation subsided into a comfortable quiet, as they both absorbed the discussion. Shepard took a breath. “So. Sounds like it would be very healthy to do more of this.”

The hint of teasing in her tone had the desired effect. Kaidan grinned, raising his eyebrows. “Or at least fun?”

“More fun than being dropped on the floor,” she shot back, pointedly and mostly joking. Mostly. They’d had two sessions since then and she still wasn’t quite over that letdown.

His answering laugh said he understood perfectly, and wasn’t at all sorry. She let out a sigh of exasperation. “How do you want to go about this? The spontaneity really worked.” 

“Yes, it did.” He picked up his plate and headed towards the sink. “But I’m sure another moment will happen along.”

* * *

Several days later and back aboard ship, Shepard was getting ready for bed in her cabin after a late call with the Primarch. Time zones damn well ought to be abolished. She was just slipping on the old t-shirt she used as pajamas when her hatch zipped open.

“I half expected to find you already tucked into bed.” She crossed her arms and grinned. “What’re you doing up?”

“The usual.” Kaidan shrugged. “Reports. Wrangling biotics. Your friend’s students are real troublemakers.”

“You should have seen their teacher in ’85. I’m not shocked they picked up some of her wilder inclinations—” A yawn drowned out the remainder of what she intended to say. Shepard blinked. “Definitely bedtime.”

Kaidan likewise began prepping for sleep, slipping off his boots and uniform, and caught her wincing as she finished changing out of her clothes. “Sore neck?”

“More like shoulder.” She rotated it. “Probably from all the facepalming during that last commlink.”

He walked over and began kneading the muscle, unbidden. “Turians still raising a stink about krogan transport costs?”

“Among other things.” Shepard leaned back into him, groaning as he found the knot. “If you never stop, that’ll be about perfect.”

He tilted his head and left a light, wet kiss on her neck, humming slightly. Her skin tingled. “Better?”

The ache had subsided considerably. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Good.” The kneading transitioned into a gentle rub. His free hand drifted under her shirt, upwards towards her breast.

She chuckled and pushed it down. “C’mon. I’m tired.”

“That’s unfortunate,” he said, going right back to what he was doing. “Because I’m not offering a menu, and this time you’re going to do some of the work.”

She stilled. Her blood began to pound as his fingers skimmed her skin, raising goosebumps. “I yelled at the engineers.”

“You did,” he acknowledged. “Clearly, you’re due for another maintenance check.”

“Is that what we’re calling these now?” Breath coming slightly faster, as he dragged his fingertip in a lazy circle around her nipple.

“Maybe a tune-up. Either way, it’s my job to see you’re kept in proper working order.” He gave it a tug.

A jolt like lightning ran from her breast and earthed itself in her groin. She gasped.

His hand slid away, nonchalant. “This shirt is in the way.”

The _Normandy_ ran cold. Very cold, at this hour, with the way she’d programmed her cabin. The shirt took all her body heat with it as he pulled it over her head. Thanks to his antics, her nipples already stood proud, but now in the chill, they became tender as well. “Kaidan—”

He licked a finger and dabbed it on the tip. Her breath caught in her throat as she shuddered. She could feel his grin. “What?”

She turned around so they were face to face. He kissed her, deeply, his tongue languidly swirling in her mouth, his hand skimming her neck, and just as she began to melt into him, pulled away. “These, too.” 

He pulled at the boxers that were her pajama bottoms. His insistence hypnotic, she drew them down and set them aside, standing completely naked and freezing, excepting a warm flush of anticipation that had risen in her belly. His eyes exerted a palpable pressure as they dragged along her body, taking in every inch as if he’d never seen her before, and left her quivering. 

Then Kaidan walked over to the bed and laid down, stripping off his own boxers as he went, as if this were all perfectly ordinary. He patted the covers. “Come here.”

The last time, it all happened so fast, she had no time to think about any of it. She went from cold to boiling over in a heartbeat. This slower pace had her off-guard, a new and stranger kind of tension. But she walked to him eagerly.

He pulled her in close for another kiss. She cuddled against the heat of his body, a shelter against the chill. His hand ran down her side, firmer than the first time he touched her, her muscles tensing and relaxing in its wake. Then he cupped her ass with one good squeeze, took her by the wrist, and moved her own hand down his torso. 

That was a rule change. “You want me to…?”

“You wanted to touch it so badly last time.” He raised his eyebrows.

She chuckled, wrapped her fingers around his shaft, and smirked. “Well, it was a little harder then.”

He smirked right back. “Then I guess you’re not doing a very good job.”

Kaidan gave his crotch a meaningful glance, and looked back at her. She rolled her eyes as she began shuffling down the bed. “You know, it’s cold.”

“Too bad. I want to watch your ass wiggling in the air.” 

The image of Kaidan looking down at herself bent over him, crouched between his knees, flashed through her in a single pulse of liquid heat. She wondered if she would’ve knelt on the cold hard floor if he asked. But he hadn’t, because this concerned his pleasure, and he’d never enjoyed seeing her hurting. Mildly uncomfortable was an entirely different matter.

Gently pulling back the foreskin, she drew the head past her lips. Dragged the underside of her tongue across it and felt his penis jump ever-so-slightly.

With most of her male partners, this was not an act she particularly relished, and she largely avoided it whenever possible. But Kaidan was a good size for her mouth, and always, always clean. A low bar, but there it was— enough to earn him the privilege of her enthusiasm. She took a deep breath through her nose, his musky scent going to her head. Took him semi-erect into her mouth, until her nose touched his stomach, and was rewarded when he grew perceptibly as she pulled back with a long, wet slurp. 

His breath came harder now. She smiled to herself with a wicked satisfaction, and bobbed back down, running her tongue around his shaft, getting into it. His thighs trembled; her fingertip traced the line joining groin to leg. Kaidan groaned and settled his hand in her hair. For a wild second, she thought he might push her head down. He didn’t. She didn’t want him to. But the thought that he might skittered like electricity down her nerves. 

Her fingertips continued to skim every sensitive area they could find. She picked up the pace as the object of her ministrations stiffened from hose to steel, adding a fist when he became too long to swallow fully, her spit providing plenty of lubrication for this purpose. He let out a muttered curse, fingers spasming against her scalp, yanking her hair against its roots quite unconsciously. 

Shepard shuffled forward slightly to improve her angle, and lifted her eyes. Kaidan had his head thrown back, his free arm flung across his forehead. His chest heaved. The heat that had grown steadily between her legs flared into full bloom, aching to be touched. Her pace held steady, letting repetition work its alchemy, imagining how his cock would feel later planted between her thighs, and knowing very well every downward stroke brought her closer to the sweet release to come. 

His hips were twitching now, bucking slightly with every lap of her tongue, a chorus of moans falling from his mouth. Each small movement or low sound stoked her own fire. The tension of his grip on her hair was a sweet agony. The tips of her breasts brushed his legs with each slurp. For once, she wished they were larger for entirely practical reasons, so she could redirect them and gain some relief from this clockwork jolting. And still he hadn’t told her to stop. Maybe that was his intention, to leave her wanting. Again.

If she were the praying type, Shepard might have offered one then; god, she could feel herself dripping slowly, she _needed_ Kaidan to fill and fulfill her, and soon. Nothing in her was accustomed to waiting for him. 

Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly bear this another second, that game or no game, she was going to sit up and ride him straight down through the damn mattress, hands cupped her face and lifted her head. He looked down at her with wild eyes. Hoarsely, he said, “Lay on your stomach.”

Not a perfect match to her fantasy. But at this point, she couldn’t give a damn, as long as it got his dick inside her. 

He gripped her waist and pulled her all the way to the edge of the bed, until her feet rested flat on the floor, splayed wide. No way did that put her pelvis at the proper height. She twisted her head to look over her shoulder. “What—”

Kaidan gripped her hair and turned her eyes back to the front. “No peeking.”

For a long moment, the only sound she could hear was her own panting breath. Her hands gripped the comforter. Waiting. 

Fingernails grazed her inner thigh. She let out a stifled groan, half pleasure, half pleading. Hands warm on her ass. But the way the fingers were oriented—

A tongue touched her clit. Her hips bucked. Her vision flashed, and she let out a legitimate scream, completely involuntary. 

“That probably woke up half the ship,” she hissed, torn between being embarrassed and really, really wanting him to do that again.

“Not my problem,” he said, dismissive. “You don’t want them to hear, you better find a way to lower your voice.”

He gripped her harder, the better to hold her in place, and began all over. There was no warm-up. There was only his tongue gliding across her most sensitive spot, cupping it in a firm, wet bowl, the tip hard and pointed. It grazed along the top every time he drew back. Shepard squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. Sure that when this was over, she’d find blood in her mouth. It still wasn’t enough to stop her squealing as he made an adjustment, and dragged his tongue down the side of her clit. 

All coherent thought had fled her mind. She squirmed in his grasp; she wanted, desperately, to come. But the build had been so slow that the approaching wave felt four stories tall. Like she might not survive it. She might have wriggled away, gotten some kind of reprieve, but the intensity had robbed her of all struggle, as Kaidan pressed his assault with relentless concentration. It was all she could do to hold on.

The wave began to crest. Her mouth opened. “Oh, fuuuuuck—”

It rolled through her muscles with the full force of a tsunami. But Kaidan’s grip was firm. And he kept going.

Just as the first wave left her, she became aware, again, of his tongue continuing its steady tempo, a few strokes across the top, a lick to the side, just when she least expected it, making her jump. Her body began to seize up a second time. “Kaidan—”

The orgasm left her no choice but to ride along with it. And still she had nothing inside her, not so much as a finger. Her vagina spasmed, grasping after something just out of reach. “Please—”

The third time set off a rolling storm, wave after wave of surf pounding away at her, a continuous loop of pleasure almost painful in its ferocity, followed by an eyeblink of reprieve before it rose again. Shepard could not have said how long it lasted if her life depended on it. All she knew was that when it finally subsided, she was a puddle on the bed, every muscle trembling in its aftermath, a shipwrecked mariner clinging to the shore. 

Hands rubbed her back. The bed dipped as he climbed up on it, and planted a kiss on her sweaty shoulder. The covers beneath her were clammy with it. Kaidan curled up beside her, brushed the hair from her face, and left another kiss on her cheek. “You are the most incredible woman who ever lived.”

Looking up at him was the only answer still within her capacity. They stayed like that for several minutes, her breath and heart rate slowly winding down, Kaidan lightly massaging her sore limbs and planting gentle kisses on her skin. When she felt like she was steady enough to speak again, she put her hand to his cheek. “I’m speechless.”

Truer words were seldom spoken. If anyone had suggested her body was capable of what it just endured, she’d have laughed in their face.

He left yet another kiss in her palm, gathering her hand into his own. “I’m ashamed to say I’m not quite done with you.”

His body shifted slightly, and she became aware he was still hard. Panic was her immediate reaction. She was completely done in.

“That said,” he continued, unawares, “Under the circumstances, you’ve earned the right to tap out. If you like.”

Shepard took a calming breath. Kaidan was relaxed. She could read him well, knew when he was on edge and she was in for a ride. This wasn’t that. This was wanting to get the very last drop of this experience, and finish up properly.

“As long as you don’t expect me to get up,” she replied. 

He chuckled, a rumble low in his chest. “Perish the thought.”

She shut her eyes again as he helped her forward on the bed, so her legs lay on it once more. They felt like she’d run a marathon.

It wasn’t a matter of satisfaction. She felt satisfied enough to last weeks, if not months. It was a matter of closure, of winding down from that unimaginable high, and allowing herself the comfort of the connection she’d craved since he first informed her this would be their evening.

Kaidan slid a pillow under her hips. As gentle as he had not been before. Then he straddled her thighs, and slowly slid inside, sucking in a breath, his hands flexing on her hips. Then he eased back out again. A soft sigh escaped her as she relaxed into his motion. 

After a few more measured strokes to ease in, he picked up a steady rhythm, not too fast, not slow enough to torture her, with a pleasant friction. That last seemed like black magic, given how her lower half felt absolutely coated in her lubrication. They’d done this position before on a few occasions. Under circumstances where she wasn’t already utterly spent, it was a near-guaranteed winner. Now it was more comforting.

His hands slid forward as he angled deeper, exerting a little more effort.

She lay there like a ragdoll. Low little cries and mrmps left her with every thrust, an involuntary response from a body that had given up any semblance of self-control. She couldn’t have managed anything more if she tried. Pleasure continued to run through her in ripples, radiating from where their bodies interlocked, a small shock every time he angled just right to graze her g-spot. It felt like it would never end. If she died here, she’d be perfectly content with her fate.

Kaidan seemed a bit worn out himself. His pleasure came in low, breathy sighs as he worked towards his own release, occasionally lifting himself and adjusting his posture forward. Using her, really. Differently from the last time, and she surprised herself in how much she loved it, in spite of her exhaustion, letting him take what he wanted without protest. Maybe that was another idea to float…

His pace quickened. His hands tensed around her waist. She was shocked when her breath quickened with his, and even moreso when her vagina gave one last weak pulse, gripping him deep inside her. Maybe it surprised him too, because his orgasm began as soon as he felt her tighten. His groan seemed drawn from his core as he pumped himself dry. 

Kaidan collapsed on top of her, sliding free. She managed to turn her head just enough to offer his lips a tired, lingering kiss.

He reached over her to pull the comforter up over them where they lay sideways across the mattress, no words necessary. It was only then she realized he’d never removed his undershirt. They cuddled close, and were asleep in minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to pushingsian for the beta!


End file.
